Let’s be clear: your pet does not want to wear that taco costume. Or the hot dog outfit. Or those silly fairy wings. A recent poll shows that one in six Americans think their pets enjoy dressing up for Halloween. That’s about the same number of people who think “Pumpkin Spice” is a personality trait.
Every October 31st, we tell ourselves little lies. “Oh, he loves it!” “She’s smiling!” “He wagged his tail!” But let’s face it—that’s not joy; it’s despair wrapped in polyester. I know this from experience. My beagle-basset mix, Poor Dead Norman, once dressed as a cowboy. He had the hat, bandana, and tiny vest. He looked miserable. But we thought he loved it. We took pictures and shared them online like proud parents. Now, I worry Norman still hates us from dog heaven.
Let’s be honest about the costumes pets definitely don’t enjoy: anything with a hat. They’ll get rid of it faster than you can say “trick or treat.” The full-body pumpkin suit? It makes them waddle like toddlers. The taco shell costume? It squishes their sides. The bee outfit? Those droopy antennae scream shame. And the lion’s mane? It turns every golden retriever into a furry existential crisis.
While 40% of people think their pets like costumes or “don’t mind,” 45% admit their pets hate it. So this Halloween, before you zip up your goldendoodle in that superhero cape, remember: they’re doing it for your Instagram likes, not for the love of the holiday. Somewhere, Poor Dead Norman is looking down, shaking his floppy cowboy hat in judgment.
